A Day With The Cullens
by TheTwilightPixie
Summary: Its a comedy from about how the cullens are at home with there super powers and all its really cool but funny. by Alexx


**A Day With The Cullen's **

**This story is dedicated to Rosalie hale ( Shauna .T.)my bud/sister/cousin/person/dude/yeah you get it. **

**This story is set in the Cullens house in forks, Washington. There in the living room and are all annoyed. **

**Renesmee wants to go out with Jacob. **

**Rosalie is doing her make-up and is getting SMUDGEYS yes people the worst thing every smudged black eye liner and no one will say shes pretty AND SHES VERY PISSED.**

**Bella is doing her nails and sick of everyone.**

**Alice wants spikey hair.**

**Jasper wants half of Renesmee.**

**Jacob is phasing.**

**So lets begin.**

**Renesmee : Dad I'm going out with Jacob **

**Edward : No Renesmee not after what happened the last time**

**Renesmee : Oh so buying someone dinner is against the law**

**Edward : Yep**

**Alice : FRICKEN HAIR SPKIE DAMN YOU **

**Bella : my FRICKEN nails ****K**

**Jacob : I swear Edward im going to phase**

**Edward : oh I'm so scared PLEASEE don't pull out your plastic ears **

**Bella : Ohh Jacob can I scratch you **

**Alice : scalds herself in the face with straightner **

**Alice : OHH IF I WASENT FROZEN I SWEAR THIS WOULD BE DEAD**

**Edward : laughs at bella's dirty thought's**

**Renesmee : Dad please nothing is going to happen**

**Edward looks at Alice and asks her to look forward **

**Alice : go's over to Renesmee smiling with her pixie face and says **

**Alice : " YOU DIRTY LITTLE CUNT" **

**Renesmee : "what"**

**Alice : BUYING DINNER ISNT AGAINAST THE LAW BUT THAT FRIKEN IS **

**Disgusted Alice goes over and hit Jacob a slap. Then goes back to straighting **

**Jacob : Oh that's it I'm phasing **

**Jacob starts shaking, and from his back pocket picks up a pair of plastic wolf ears and sticks on a stick on tail **

**Jacob : YOUR ALL SCARED NOW GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR**

**Alice : FRIKEN SPIKE**

**Rosalie : say I'm pretty**

**Edward : laughing again " no Bella tonight **

**Bella : BUT I WANT IT NOW**

**Rosalie : HMM people…. Pretty **

**A long space of time **

**Rosalie : OHHH I'm so pulling out the curler bitches **

**Rosalie continues to curl hair:)**

**Jacob: grrrrr**

**Renesmee : for the love of god we wont do anything **

**Alice see's into furture **

**Alice : LIAR !!!**

**Edward : Bella stop.**

**Bella : Jeeze. Do you always need a pool ? Or Joe Jonas **

**Edward : Shut Up . ****L**

**Jacob: Grrr **

**Rosalie : BITCHES SAY IM PRETTY **

**Renesmee : Dad ?**

**Edward : What **

**Renesmee : There's someone outside **

**Aro from the volturui walks in and sits down **

**Rosalie IF I COULD CRY YIZ WOULD BE DROWING IN MY DIMOND TEARS **

**Bella : Rose ?**

**Rosalie : yes ?**

**Bella : SHUT THE HELL UP **

**Rosalie destroys the curling iron and looks over at Aro **

**Rosalie : What the Frick are you doing here you GINGE **

**Aro : my dear sister, my hair is black **

**Rosalie : Ginge !**

**Edward dirty laughing again **

**Edward : That's true. I have a Joe Jonas poster and there's a lake **

**Alice : Aro. What in the name god are you doing here**

**Aro : my good sister- **

**Alice : leave "my sister" out of this please**

**Aro : Soz dude.**

**Alice : what ! **

**Aro : I am here for everyone **

**Everyone passes a look **

**Edward laughs at Aro's gay thought **

**Aro: I want you to join --**

**Alice, Rosalie, Bella, Renesmee : WERE NOT JOINING THE GOD DANM VOLTURI BITCH **

**Edward laughs **

**Aro : No my brothers, sisters and dog **

**Aro : Will you add me on MSN no one will**

**Alice : lost in thought**

**Alice : sure sure no evilness sure**

**Edward : Sure**

**Rosalie : Am I pretty ?**

**Aro : hmmmm yes you are**

**Rosalie : Ill add you, talk to you, sleep with you and marry you if you say again **

**Aro : emmmmmm okkkkkkk**

**Jacob : PEOPLE GRRR**

**Bella and Edward suddenly run like a shot out of the room to the lake with a Joe Jonas poster.**

**Alice : SPIKE HAIR DANM YOU **

**Renesmee and Jacob suddenly rush to la push ( Haha that ryhms)**

**Rosalie stalkes Aro around looking for compliments **

**Aro leaves scared **

**Alice : WELL IM ALONE **

**Alice : Stupid spike **

**From a distance all you hear is **

**Rosalie : IM FRIKEN PRETTY DANM YOU **

**THE END **


End file.
